He was sitting in his usual corner with his head hunched over a computer, totally aloof and disconnected from the rest of us at Café Da Vinci. That did not stop the remaining café habitués from throwing distasteful looks at him and labelling him persona non grata. No one dared to say anything to his face, maybe because he was old, but that did not deter them from giving him the cold shoulder. The man wore the same scraggy look as always — long, unkempt hair and beard, wrinkled shirt, unhemmed pants, and mismatched sandals. Like an unwritten code, no one ever sat on the table next to him, even when the café was packed. People literally cringed and lunged to the other side if he ever came too close. Though I was no way a party to this alienating behavior, my mere presence alone in the café with the rest of them somehow made me culpable.
While most of us sat there shunning him from our world and obsessing over his appearance rather than heeding to our own needs — the reason we had come to the café — he looked content and happy in his own crook, oblivious to the world around him. Even when he entered or moved around to gather his order, he had a sense of peace and calm around him. It was not that he didn’t care, but he was so comfortable in his own skin that nothing bothered him. He always had a smile and a polite hello to offer to habitués who came across on his way to his table.
Sitting there, being a quiet observer put me into a reflective mood. What if I were to dress up like that or maybe forget to comb my hair, would I be snubbed too? And, most importantly, how would I handle it?
Just then, there was a loud shriek from the direction of the kitchen followed by a loud thud. All the eyes shifted towards the kitchen door and widened in amazement as we watched the old man dashing towards it and going inside. The mystery intensified when half an hour later, the old man came out with his arms wrapped around one of the café staff deep in conversation. He gave what looked like a well-done pat on the barista’s shoulder before parting ways and resuming his favorite place in the corner. As for the rest of us, we literally froze for what seemed like eternity, with our mouth wide open in utter puzzlement as to what just transpired here.
Everyone was very curious about the old man’s involvement in the whole scenario that had just played out before all of us, especially the camaraderie they had just witnessed between the café staff and the old man. Sadly, nobody cared about the commotion that had occurred in the kitchen a few minutes earlier. Pursuant to the baristas placing record-breaking orders in café’s sales history in just 20 minutes, and several attempts at befriending the staff, there was a major breakthrough for the café patrons. The curtain had finally unveiled. Thankfully nobody was seriously hurt in the kitchen — one of the sous- chefs had picked up a hot pan by mistake and dropped it subsequently as a reaction, but what would have made it to the front-page news was the big reveal. Turned out that the owner of Café Da Vinci and its five other locations in the state was none other than the old man whom we so conveniently had labeled a pariah in his own café. Ouch!!!!
What followed after was really comical, as if we were in a movie and the director had completely flipped the mood in the scene by 180 degrees. Everyone’s demeanor had done a reversal — suddenly there was so much appreciation and admiration for the old man. Short of making him sit in their laps — which they sure would have if he obliged — they were all over gushing about the guy. They couldn’t believe how humble he was and so down to earth. Now that he fell into a different social status, he was considered an eccentric with an avant-garde fashion style. This role reversal and hero worship happened in a matter of minutes. Unbelievable! As for the old man, not a stir: he sat there as usual leaning over his machine lost in his world totally unfazed and unaware of the changing perception around him.
This episode raises some intrinsic questions. First, why do we feel the need to judge and put people into common, no-good categories? Second, why such a differential treatment of human life based on socio-economic hierarchy? What about just valuing every plain simple human life — a miracle in itself, sans monetary strings?
I know as humans we all have a herd mentality and adhere to a normative conformity. Anyone who digresses from it is often frowned upon and not easily accepted. History is a sad testament to this fact— many who strayed were either incarcerated, exiled, or in some cases brutally killed. But, if we all had followed a nice straight line, we would not be living in both a technologically and medically advanced world now, would we? We are all unique beings, and it is important for each of us to bring our own individuality to the table upfront for us to be able to thrive in our environment. So, the only person we need to please is ourselves — a happy mind is a successful and efficient mind. This way, we all will have a fulfilling and content life. There will be no room for any bent-up frustrations seething inside us and no need for us to vent our anger out on anyone in the form of a judgment. We will be so wrapped up in our own happy world, where will we get the time? At least we can try to be a better form of ourselves.
We all live in a very materialistic and pretentious world. Success in our society equates to how much wealth we have accumulated and how high we are up on the rungs of the economic ladder. This garners us unfaltering reverence and adoration, and our lives are deemed immensely precious. So much so that every odd behavior by the likes of such is shrugged upon as mere quirkiness and in some instances even idolized and followed. If that were actually true, then why would many people leave their high paying jobs to become dog walkers or open a food truck or bakery to pursue a life of fulfillment? Because at the end of the day, success equates to just this: a wholesome life that is lived to its full potential, a journey you can cherish and enjoy forever. A wholesome life can have a different meaning for everyone, but we need to respect and value every single one of us for the decisions we have made to live our lives the way we deem fit. If we could actually measure fulfillment, a Buddhist monk’s content life would shatter all records. They lead a very simple minimalistic lifestyle devoid of any worldly possessions, yet their lives are so enriched with peace and joy. So next time you happen to come across a not so privileged person, instead of shrugging them off as insignificant, do say hello with a hearty smile as every breathing life is as priceless as any. Kindness and compassion are never passé — they are forever becoming!