It was a beautiful morning like any other in Shimla, a city nestled in the foothills of Himalayas, as I sat on a bench right outside my hotel, on the most coveted tourist hot spot — the mall road — savoring a delicious cup of tea. Even at six o’clock in the morning, the street was bustling with the energy of adrenalized joggers and enthusiastic shop owners who were ready to take on the 2-mile pedestrianized stretch up the hilly road. As I sat there gaping at this marvel of a street lined up with shops and restaurants with a backdrop of lush green valley in the back, my mind went to a very simple yet thought provoking question my niece asked me the night before. “Maasi (Aunty), why did you leave your family in India and decide to move to the US? Don’t you miss having us around?”
It was almost two decades ago when Av and I, along with our 2-year-old dumpling, moved to the US. It was a bold move considering we were well settled both financially and emotionally and not to forget we had a toddler in tow. But, the quest for knowledge of a different culture and the need to explore a whole new world out there was too overpowering: when the heart wants what it wants, one does not put too much thinking into one’s decision. I must add that the last twenty years in the US did not disappoint — they have been a whirlwind of cultural immersion in terms of people, food, and landscape. The interesting part is that I got to learn a lot more about people in India than I did when I was there. But I have always had this tiny little fleeting thought hiding somewhere in my brain always niggling at me. So, when my niece asked me the question, I was tongue-tied, for one, and very confused.
Living in the US has rekindled the explorer in me — sitting on the back burner —and the free-person that I truly am.
My first day in the US is still vividly etched in my mind. The moment we stepped out of the airport, we were hit in the face with a blast of frigid cold air and everything around us was covered in a blanket of snow. It was a record low coldest day in the month of December. Rather than be disheartened, I actually found it very welcoming and comforting — it reminded me of Winnie the pooh and his four friends: Piglet, Tigger, Eeyore and Rabbit, who were having fun in the snow on Xmas day in the movie “A Merry Pooh Year”. And believe me, like the silly old bear and company, I have spent multiple hours frolicking in the snow with my son, making snow angels and funny looking snowmen, and enjoying snow ball fights. What really amazed me was having seen snow fall on a beach in winter —nature’s own true wonder, the very same beach where we would spend many sweltering summers swimming in the ocean on the sandy beach. I think the weather in New England is as eccentric and moody as I am. One fine day you will be gallivanting around in shorts and a t-shirt, and the very following day, you will be rummaging through your clothes to look for a sweatshirt as the temperature would have plummeted by an entire 10 degrees!
The adage that a mystery of a whole new world awaits at every corner for you to unravel has rung true for me. Through walking and biking adventures across wooded wildlife sanctuaries, canopied paved rail trails meandering around bogs and swamps, and breezy coastal towns, I have discovered myriads of treasures like huge redwoods, banyan trees, green sea turtles, and bald eagles.
Instead of me travelling the word, the world came knocking on my doorstep. I have had the great opportunity to make friends with people of different ethnicities — classmates from Thailand and Vietnam while I was doing my masters, Polish and New Zealander friends through my son at his elementary school, and Colombian and Japanese friends who happen to be my wonderful neighbors.
On top of all the remarkable excursions I have had, the multi-ethnic circle of friends I have befriended, the cherry on the cake has always been celebrating the merry cheery season of Xmas in the US. Oh, how I can still visualize my then little bundle of joy, Nav, and I baking chocolate chip cookies in the kitchen dancing along to the timeless xmas music. The two of us, bedecked with all our baking ingredients, and our colorful edible masterpieces, gelled very well with all the Christmas decorations in the house. Many times, I saved the jolly old man a trip down our so-called chimney by dressing as him for the visit with the little bit naughty but lots of nice kid. Now that my little one has grown up into a handsome young man, we still have kept up the tradition of watching our favorite movie — The Polar Express.
What can I say about India — it is the center of my being. A world too familiar and comfortable, revitalizing and nourishing the very essence, my soul.
India has an amazing energy, a buzz in life that never comes to a standstill, and goes on and on no matter what the time of the day it is. The moment I step outside the airport in India, I am enveloped with a warmth that cradles and rocks me to a blissful state. I feel so lively and energized. Growing up at my parent’s house was (and still is) like living in town commons — there was always a constant flow of friends and family members barging in any time 24 hours a day. Never for an iota of second did we feel abandoned or alone. I have always loved round the clock emotional support and constant companionship sans any social media. One of the many beautiful traits that has been passed down to me from my parents is the utmost importance of spending time with the family. Our customary Saturday night dinners at the August Moon restaurant at the Taj hotel in New Delhi, and our boisterous all hands-on deck Sunday brunches at home, attest to that. If only one could turn back time. I deeply miss the strong sense of familial and communal bond that India has.
What I also love and find enigmatic about my birth place is its simplicity which goes hand in hand with its rich, diverse and beautiful heritage. There is so much this beautiful country and the netizens alike have to offer — spirituality being one of them. No wonder people get drawn to this gem of a nation in droves: a place called Rishikesh, for one, to seek mental wellness and enlightenment. Since childhood, the correlation between happiness and mental health has been ingrained in my mind. My grandmother literally used to chant this adage to us incessantly: “You attract what you think”, so think happy thoughts. This was one of the reasons I was drawn to learning and practicing yoga plus the fact that Sarvangasana, a shoulder stand pose, looks really cool — you get instant bragging rights. Regular practice of yoga has helped me toss the curveballs out and channel my thoughts into something more positive and create the perfect balance between mind and body. I have been more at peace, collected and content every passing day. And yes, I do hope to achieve Moksha (salvation) one day and be granted a boon or two from the celestial world for my dedication. All the more reasons to go back to hone my yoga prowess.
So, you see my predicament. I was on the threshold of two worlds — east and west. Where did I actually belong? The place where I grew up or the place where I live?
I was so lost in my thoughts that I did not notice someone come sit next to me on the bench. Only when I heard a ping noise did my attention come back to the mall road and the exuberant elderly man besides me. We exchanged pleasantries and generally started chatting up. He regaled me with stories about the fruitful and fulfilling life he had in his 85 years lifespan. What made his life so blissful were the two loves of his life — his family and the café he ran at the Shimla railway station. The secret to a happy and content life he said is to include and stay connected to everything that matters to you. And he planned to continue doing just that till he breathed his last. We said our goodbyes with the promise I would look him up next time I visited and he would take us to his club where they served excellent food and had good entertainment.
So charged was I with my tête-à-tête with the vivacious gentleman that I decided to take on the challenge of the 2-mile hilly stretch. I deposited my cup at the reception and started climbing up. There is something magical in the mountain air — even though I was huffing and puffing, I felt calm and invigorated. No wonder in the old times all the sages came here to meditate. Both the conversation and the walk somehow dissolved the dilemma I had for so many years. The universe has an uncanny way of providing you with answers for your quandary. All you have to do is keep your eyes open and listen.
Speaking with the wise gentleman made me realize that in our lifetime, we love multiple things that are poles apart. Irrespective of their diverse nature, we make every effort to embrace these things, to make them a part of our lives, because it makes us happy and fulfilled. So, being in love with two different countries, even though they are far apart in distance and contrast in nature, is the same thing. Staying connected with both is what makes me whole because I am a person with an effervescent personality — I like variety and we all know variety is the spice of life. Plus, I love traveling and there is so much still to explore in both of these earthly wonders.
So, instead of choosing between either of them, I plan on eventually spending time equally in both the countries, six months in India and six months in the US. I am lucky enough to be a part of two beautiful cultures. How many people are fortunate enough to cut the cake and eat it too!!! When life serves you food on a silver platter, you better devour it with full gusto. With a spring in my step, I walked back down to my hotel to spend the day with my family and make more beautiful memories for years to come.